ForgetMeNot
by FarmFreak
Summary: If you had asked me back then to explain myself my reply would have been simple. "I never loved him." A short, sad, KaixClair one shot.


_Author note: A one shot fanfiction. I arrived at this idea after hearing Lucie Silvia's "Forget Me Not." It's a beautiful song, and I urge you to listen it. It is full of heart filled emotion, and the lyrics tug on my heartstrings and remind me of someone who is now gone from my life. Forgetting always seems to be the hardest thing to do, and I wish everyday that I could forget this certain person, but for some odd reason their memory always floats at the very surface of my mind. I've shed countless tears over them. I have no one else to blame but myself. I'm sorry I hurt you, for that I will never let myself forget you. Rather grudgingly, I will take your memory and use it as a reminder: to never let go one the one who I will love in the future. [/reminiscing] Review if you can._

**Forget-Me-Not**

_Forget me not, I ask of you  
Wherever your life takes you to  
And if we never meet again  
Think of me every now and then_

_It was a much simpler time, the winds blew through the wide expanse of my parent's farm, the tall grasses of the pasture swaying to and fro in the bitter, yet gentle, autumn air. The leaves were crisp and colored vibrantly, their tips curling upon themselves as they fluttered from the treetops and into the dirt. I remember your smile, the way your lips turned up when I grabbed at your hand while we walked together. The feel of your skin against mine as your fingers laced themselves with mine. You always made me feel flustered. My heartbeat always elevated when you were close. I loved the way you made me feel, but I can't help but wonder if I would feel the same with another. You were the first I had ever loved, is that what made our time together so special? _

. . .

I watched another leaf leave its perch on a branch and sighed. The wind picked up and scraped across my uncovered skin. It nipped at my face, bringing a crimson to my cheeks. I adjusted the scarf 'round my neck and burrowed by face further into the soft material. I heard a faint call of my name and turned towards the source.

"Clair!" A purple bandana clad young man ran towards me waving an arm in the air. I smiled sadly from under my red scarf and jumped down from my seat on the fence that surrounded the pasture. As he came to stand ahead of me his smile widened as he rested a hand behind his head. I took a step towards him before slipping my hand into his, annoyed at the wool that separated my skin from his. He leaned down and pressed his forehead to mine, moving his hand from behind his neck to push the red of my scarf down. He was rewarded with the pink of my lips. I could feel his hot breath on my face as he studied my blue eyes, he was so close.

"I thought I would miss you." He wrapped his arms around my neck, and pulled me close, forcing my head to rest on his shoulder. "Why didn't you come to see me off?"

I could hear the pain in his voice as he held me ahead of him, I allowed my eyes to rest upon his own blue orbs, unsure of how to answer him. I bit my lower lip in silent contemplation. His eyes flickered with an emotion that I could not identify. A few moments passed before I opened my mouth to answer. Just before I could reply, his lips caught mine. Our kisses, once filled with so much passion on both sides, were now reduced to fervent action only on his part. His fingers entwined in my blond locks as he deepened our one sided kiss, I felt the pain in my heart return as he drew away and searched my expression. His lips curled into a frown and that unidentifiable emotion flared up in his eyes again. I stood ahead of him, gazing lackadaisically at his tanned face.

. . .

_We had just one day to recall  
Now all I want is something more  
Than just a fading memory  
Left wondering what could have been._

_If you had asked me back then to explain myself my reply would have been simple. "I never loved him." I would have spat painfully in your direction, hurt creasing my facial features as tears threatened to escape the confines of my eyes. I would have denied my feelings for him over and over again until you gave up. I would laugh as you pointed out how much I used to talk about him. "It's only natural to talk about a guy you're with."_

_As I watch the leaves slowly drifting down to the ground now I can't quite understand my past actions. I loved him. I loved him a lot, but at such a fragile time in my existence I didn't know how else to act. Constantly striving for acceptance from everyone, especially my parents._

_. . ._

"Clair?" I let him hug me again before drawing away.

I gathered my strength and looked straight into his glassy gaze. "I'm sorry." I felt my voice waver momentarily before I glanced sideways, away from him. I wasn't sure if I could continue my false confession with his eyes on me, so full of dashed hope.

He drew up his eyebrows in worry as I turned my back towards him. "Clair...Clair, please don't." I could hear his mixed emotions. Sadness, anger, and confusion escaped through his words. He steped towards me and placed a hand on my shoulder, his fingers squeezing, pleading me to stop. I continued on anyway.

"You deserve so much more." I was being truthful, he deserved someone who wouldn't do this to him. He deserved someone who wouldn't break his heart over what other people said. I turned to face him, brushing his hand from my body. I glanced into his pain filled eyes, forcing my own to remain cold and emotionless.

. . .

_Isn't it a shame, that the timing's all wrong  
You're doing what you never meant to,  
There's always something that prevents you.  
Well I believe in fate, it had to happen this way  
But it always leaves me wondering whether...  
In another life we'd be together.  
We should feel lucky we can say... we've always got yesterday_

_I can still recall the searing heat his tanned fingers would leave as they trailed down my pale skin, the way his hair looked when he didn't wear his bandana. How soft his dark brown locks were when I ran my hands through his hair as he kissed my neck. Even now I tremble as I remember him, I want to forget, but the least I can do for him is... remember him. _

_I wonder, if I had retaliated against the will of my parents, would I still be in his arms? Would his lips still kiss my own with such fervent passion as before? At least I have his memory... _

_. . ._

"No Clair." His hands framed my face gently, he stroked my cheeks with his thumbs before stepping closer, his black boots crushing the newly fallen autumn leaves.

"Why..." He breathed. I couldn't tell if he wanted an answer or not. I remained silent as he pulled me close and held me to his chest.

"Is it something I did?" He gripped me tighter.

"It's not you... it's me." I replied generically. It was the truth though, I wouldn't... couldn't lie to him. "It's over. Goodbye."

He pushed me away and searched my eyes again, hoping I would change my mind. I looked out into the pasture and fixed my gaze on the single tree that took root there, marveling in the multiple shades of orange, red, and brown that dotted it's top.

He turned towards the exit of the farm, "Fine. If that's what you want. Just know I love you."

His words stung more than the cold wind that whipped against my now uncovered cheeks.

_And as I leave it all behind  
You're still emblazoned in my mind  
And for that very special day  
Nobody loved me in that way_

I watched as he walked slowly towards Vesta's farm, on his way to Mineral Town to board the boat that would take him back to the city. I allowed my tears to spill over, and stood there shaking, wishing he would come running back to me. I dashed towards him but stopped in my tracks as my father came up behind me and laid his hand on my shoulder. I glared up at him, my face streaked with tears. I lashed out and smacked his hand away. I ran after Kai, my boots striking the dirt path that lead to him.

_Forget me not, I ask of you  
Wherever your life takes you to_

I ran as quickly as I could, my red scarf dancing behind me. My heart filled with hope as I entered Mineral Town, knowing I was minutes away from where Kai would hopefully be.

_And if we never meet again  
Think of me every now and then_

As my work boots met the loose sands of the beach my eyes trailed over to the pier. I ran blindly towards it, hoping in vain the boat hadn't taken off yet.

. . .

_If I had only ran faster, if I had only called out to him as I watched him leave the farm, then maybe I wouldn't feel so empty now. I long for him, but know that by now he has someone new. Someone else to hold him close and kiss him. Someone else to make him forget me. _I have no one now. _I don't have him, and I don't have another. He's all I can think about, all I want to think about. It's the least I can do after hurting him so much._

_. . ._

_Forget me not I ask...  
I ask of you_

As I watched the boat drift off towards the horizon, I couldn't help but let loose the tears again. The wind howled and moaned in agony with me as my knees buckled and I met the sand. My scarf took off with the groans of the autumn wind and danced towards the boat. "Forget-me-not..." I whispered into the air, knowing full well how selfish a request that was, after I had broken his heart to please my parents.

"Forget-me-not..."


End file.
